How to survive the holiday season

The Holiday season is upon us. I know for us it's in full swing, this past weekend we have cleaned house and put up Christmas decorations and the Christmas tree. It was exhausting but fun, and now we are all geared up for Christmas. I cannot wait till our family arrives from out of state; I have a new niece I have yet to hold and let me tell you I have a bit of baby fever.

For us writers Christmas is a bit of a crazy time. Normal people have errands to run, presents to buy, you know the normal Holiday rush. For writers it's a bit harder. We spend a good portion of our days conversing with characters in our heads and plotting, that has a tendency to make us seem a bit anti-social. I admit some days I would rather argue with my main character about the plot than deal with real people. Please, like I need to hear how awful things are for a walmart cashier when all I want is to take my new pack of ink pens and Jungle Juice home and start on a new chapter.

For us writers that are a bit on the secretive side Christmas is a struggle. It's much harder to deal with real people than the people we created. To help you the writer get through the Holiday season successful I have made a list of tips.


1.When confronted by a person that is "touchy-feely" and you are not feeling the "love" cough heartily and wheeze a bit before they go in for the "Killing hug". Usually the signs of sickness will ward off even the touchiest of relations.

2.When booze is offered accept. Booze will help make your most annoying relations seem half-way decent.

3. When asked what your are currently working on tell them that it is a top secert project, but that you can give them a hint. It involves Secret Squirrel.

4.When asked if you want to join someone for a meal inquire if booze will present. If so please accept the invite, if not decline, decline, decline!

5. When asked what you want for Christmas reply that you would like an elf that does paperwork. They could be handy for all of those queries.

6.If you are disturbed while brooding over a plot line by a relation and they ask you, "What are you thinking about?" simply reply that you are simply figuring up if reindeer farts is what gives Santa's sleigh the lift to fly. Magical oats my foot.

7.When given a totally lame gift simply over react. Act like the gift is the best gift ever given the history of the human race. It will make them feel good and you will be able to see an honest reaction. Think of it as Field research.

8. This time of year people will call. As of right now I have already talked to 5 people on the phone, and it is not even 11 AM yet. Simply put the phone on speaker and grunt occasionally as you continue to work.

9. Keep a tally of the Christmas items you receive in the mail, that way when people call and say did you receive blah, blah, you can look it up and say "Yes, it was lovely!" This way everyone is happy.

10.When in doubt wither it be a social interaction that has you grappling or simply someone Else's stupidity simply resolve the issue by singing loudly. I prefer the wonderful tune of "Jingle Bells", but pick which ever song that you like. This will bridge the social gap and make you seem like you are filled with the holiday spirit and not just booze.